A million little thoughts...

I swear I can't keep focus for more than 5 minutes these days; millions of thoughts (mostly about food) pop into and out of my head all day long. It's a random little cycle that goes like this;

FOOD:

Hardly anything sounds good these days; but when something does I need it NOW. There is nothing better than satisfying a craving - like a glazed doughnut and chocolate milk that a coworker brought in. My whole day will be 10 times better because of the memory of this morning's chocolaty-glazed-goodness.

On the flip side is when something sounds horrible. This happens more often; like in a restaurant when I order food and my husbands looks 10 times better, so I eat his. I've started ordering a salad and picking off of everyone's plate. Case & point: we're out with LeAnn and Russ I get a salad, eat Christian's cucumbers, Russ's baked potato, and a few bites of appetizers.

CLOTHES:

Nothing fits. It sucks and I don't even have a cute little bump to show for it. I had a big presentation on Friday; I went in with my pants unbuttoned - good times.

So this weekend, I finally bit the bullet... And bought some maternity pants, with the help of friends Lindsay and LeAnn. It was less traumatizing than I expected - but I went in pouting none-the-less. Christian calls them my "buffet pants" highly appropriate, but still makes me want to punch him.

I don't know why the sales ladies at the maternity store thing you need your hand held to pick out pants, but it really irritated me. I wanted to yell at her to leave me alone (she didn't). When I found a pair I liked, I go to buy them and she wants to know my life story (OK my address and phone number for free stuff) still I felt invaded and annoyed. I just wanted to pay and get out of there.

While I was wandering around the store ignoring my friend's suggestions to try stuff on another pregnant lady decides to strike up a conversation with me (a first). I'm obviously pregnant or just fat (but being in a maternity store solves that one usually) my round belly was totally bulging out of my regular sized pants. She asks how far along I am to which I reply "not far, but nothing fits!" She said she was 4 months so I countered with, I'm going on 3. Her reply "OH WOW, your big!" OK really? Isn't there a code or something among pregnant women everywhere that you DON'T say that? Finally I said, "we're having twins" that shut her up and she walked away after asking about me about a bra extender, how am I supposed to know which to buy? Maybe she was the one who needed the sales ladies help, not me.

I must say, buffet pants = the most comfortable things in the world.

YUCK:

Remember Mel's story about the 70 mile an hour freeway-barfing incident? Yeah, ditto. We were driving up to Everett when I smelled something and a wave of "oh no" came over me immediately. Wasn't good. Needless to say the nausea has set in at 8 weeks. It seems like the only time I feel sick is in the car or after I eat something. Go figure, two things I used to love.

I'm now the cool lady who wears 80's style bright purple sweat bands (sea bands) out in public. They are the only thing that works these days and keeps me from feeling like I'm going to be sick 24/7. Yeah I rock them.

IRRITABILITY & TIREDNESS:

Yep. I'm not nice and want to sleep all the time. Pretty much my life these days. Christian laughs at me because he says I don't even try to be nice and hide it. I figure if I do, I'll be 10 times more mad. And I get mad at nothing, and have something to say about it. I always was a back-talker, now I show it. I can't wait for this to pass; it really says something when you don't even want to be around yourself but can't help it. I feel like I have turrets. Good times. :)

I could seriously sleep all day long - I hope this goes away. I am usually so active and want to be out and about. I now get tired walking around Target and want to go home and take a nap. Yesterday, I felt so sick when I woke up and exhausted (yes I just woke up and was exhausted) that I worked from home. I am so thankful I have that option, I don't think I'd be very nice at work if I had to dress up (none of those clothes fit anyway) and put on a happy face. I heart sweat pants.

PANIC:

I mean 2 of everything? Have you seen how little our condo is? About every 30 minutes or so a wave of utter panic washes over me and I freak out about the whole twin thing. I have wanted twins since I was 7 years old, but now that I have them all I can do is worry. What if we don't have enough space? Money? How do you get through a door with a double stroller? How do you go out in public at all? Forget a sling or baby carrier - you need an industrial strength stroller or a nanny. I know I can do this, maybe that's why I have 7 more months, to get used to the idea of twice the fun... I've heard that if you start with 2 you really don't know any different and it's not that much harder, here's to hoping it's true!

That's pretty much the order of things these days; I wake up thinking about food, then worry about what the heck I'm going to wear, then I feel sick, irritable and tired followed up by a wave of panic. It's an interesting little cycle - see now I'm back on food. I wonder what I'm going to eat next... maybe pizza for lunch. :) I can't wait for the second trimester to start - I have "heard" it is a lot better. Wishful thinking...